Read a Sneak Peek of Begin Again

Begin Again—friends to lovers, a marriage of convenience, it’s always been you romance comes out on April 25th. To celebrate, here’s a sneak peek at the prologue and the first chapter.

PROLOGUE - Annie

June 2024 - Annie is 28, Sam is 30

It’s been one hundred and sixty-two days since I last saw my husband. As I move away from the window that faces the ocean at the resort I’m staying at, I frown down at my phone. I’m in Hawaii for the first time and all I can think about is how long it’s been since I last saw Sam.

“Get a grip,” I whisper to myself and put my phone back up to my ear. “I’m still here.” 

My brother, Noah, called to drop the bomb that because his flight was canceled, he’s going to need me and Sam to confirm everything is good to go for his wedding. 

“Good. And you'll be okay helping Sam out and making sure everything is good for me and Tally?” he asks again, since I didn’t actually give him an answer when he asked me a few seconds ago.

“Not a problem,” I tell my brother the words he wants to hear, the words that I would love to believe. But as I sit on the soft comforter that covers the huge king-sized bed, I wish the words were true. I lie back on the soft blankets and wonder if the bed will swallow me whole so I don’t have to talk to anyone.

My older brother and his fiancé decided to have a destination wedding in Maui. I’ve already arrived, but my brother, his fiancé, and her family are all stuck in Utah for an extra twenty-four hours because of their canceled flight. Not a problem. Except the fact that I’m about to see my husband for the first time in six months. Sam is my brother’s best friend and the best man. He’s also my husband, which no one but the two of us and my closest friends knows about.

Then my brother drops another bomb on me. "He will have to stay in your room. I already called the resort and they said he won’t be able to check in because our room is under my name, not his."

I sit up so quickly my head spins. I squeeze my eyes shut. “But you explained the situation?” My voice isn’t frantic, but everything is different now. Though Sam and I have slept together in the same room—even in the same bed—sharing a space with him after so long apart might be awkward. Especially with how I left things.

“I did.” Noah’s voice dips low like it always does when he feels bad. “Sorry, Sis, they have weird rules and only I can check in.”

I close my eyes and try to take my mind to one of those meditations that my therapist told me to try. I imagine a woman with a British accent telling me to imagine my favorite place in the world. My husband’s beautiful tanned face appears in my mind and my eyes fly open.

Meditation does not work.

“That’s fine,” I say. Maybe Sam will sleep on the floor. Wait, no. I’d never make him sleep on the floor. Not with his bad back. I wipe a sweaty palm on the comforter beside me.

“Will you text him your room info?” Noah is asking, but I’m not really listening. What can I do in the next half hour to be ready to see Sam? I’ve planned our reunion several times in my head, and none of my scenarios included sharing a hotel room. 

“I will,” I say. While it’s not ideal, I’m grateful that I flew in yesterday. I’ve never been to Hawaii and wanted a day to myself before the chaos of the wedding party descended upon the resort. But I expected Noah and Tally to be here as a buffer between me and Sam. Now my buffer is gone.

“Alright,” Noah says, and I glance around the room that seemed so big a minute ago. “Thanks, Sis.”

“Mhm,” I murmur before hanging up. 

I scroll on my phone and start playing “Welcome To New York.” Taylor's Version of course. Taylor is probably the only person in the world who will be able to calm my nerves right now, and 1989 is my favorite album. The familiar notes fill the room and my heart rate slows. 

Then I scroll to my texts. There’s already one from Sam waiting for me.

Sam: Noah said he was going to call you. I’m about five minutes out from the resort. What's your room number?

My gut clenches. I hate how civil he’s being. I wish he would fight or scream or yell or ask me where I've been for the last six months. And a deeper wish—a desire really—I have is that he’ll show up and wrap me up in his arms and tell me just how much he’s always loved me and everything between us will be easy and normal like it was before. But I’m not holding out hope for that. I’m not even sure I’m ready for that.

I scroll up in our text thread, the last text from him—that I left on read—was from the day after I left.

Sam: Let me know if you need me.

I never answered and he isn’t the pushy type, something I’m usually thankful for. But right now, I wish that I had tried a little bit harder to close the space between us. He might have left the ball in my court, but I still wish he would have tried. But maybe he didn’t reach out for all the same reasons I didn’t. I wanted to, but the thought of my heart breaking again because of him stopped me. 

Nothing will be able to save my broken heart now. I text him the room number and try to focus on the music while I wait.

The final notes of “Out of the Woods” fade when the doorbell rings. Because of course, my brother would want to get married at a resort where the rooms have doorbells. I don’t think I’ve ever stayed in a place so fancy, not that I’ve traveled much.

I pull myself up to a standing position and slowly walk to the door, taking a deep breath as I grab the handle. I can do this. 

I open the door and I swear I go weak at the knees. I clutch the doorknob like it’s my lifeline. Sam’s light blue eyes meet mine—searching my face—and my body goes warm. He grins at me, the smile that has always been just mine. 

“Hey, sunshine,” he says and my entire body turns into complete jelly. “Can I come in?”

Not trusting my voice, I simply pull the door open wider and let my husband into the room.

Chapter One - Annie

August 2010 - Annie is 14, Sam is 16 

“I know that look.” My best friend Emily sits down in the chair across from me at the small table I’ve been reading at while she peruses the library shelves for the book she needs to read for English. School starts next week and she hasn’t done any of the reading yet. 

“What look?” I slide my bookmark into my well-worn copy of Emma and look at her.

“The look that says you’re mad at your mom again and you’re trying to forget about how awful she is by reading Emma. Again.”

I frown.

“See. I know I'm right.” Emily drops the heavy classic, Huckleberry Finn, on the table.

“Is that the large print edition?” I ask. Better to talk about books than to think about the fight I had with Mom this morning. I’d pretty much rather do anything than think about Mom. I’m only fourteen and I’m already daydreaming about the day when I can go to college or at least move out. Too bad I don’t know what I like yet, other than books. But I don’t know if you can study books in college.

She nods. “The only copy they have left.”

“I read it in June.” I’m not trying to be smug about it, but she really shouldn’t have waited this long.

Emily rolls her eyes. “Of course you did. You are the nerd in this friendship.”

I smile, secretly pleased, though I’d never dare call myself a nerd. The popular girls don’t need me to give myself a nickname. The kids at school already call me Freckles because of all the freckles that cover my skin—which isn’t exactly all that original, but it’s better than being dubbed the class nerd. “I prefer the term bookworm, but I’ll take it I guess.”

Emily’s laugh echoes through the quiet library. I glance around but no one is paying attention to us. She stares at the thick book in front of her. “Is this book even any good?”

“I am the wrong person to ask.” She knows I have a fondness for classic books, so of course I thought it was good. I fell in love with old books back before Dad left our family and Mom used to read to me and Noah every night. I visit Narnia at least once a year and I’m a huge fan of Anne Shirley, after all, she’s kind of my namesake. 

“Can you believe we start school next week?” She changes the subject again and pulls me away from thoughts of all the books I love and brings me to my second love, school. “And we’ll officially be freshmen!”

“I am excited for school.” I twist my hands in my lap, not saying anything else. Emily knows that I’ve been fighting with Mom all summer. Mom got a new boyfriend and he’s been stinking up the house because all he does is smoke, drink beer, and watch our TV. Mom told me I needed to be nicer to Jeff, but he’s a lazy jerk, so why should I have to be nice? At least he’s better than her last boyfriend, if that’s even possible. 

So yeah, I’m excited about school starting because it means I can spend most of my time away from home and I’ll have homework to do when I am there. Plus, I love learning. Emily on the other hand is excited for completely different reasons. 

“Do you think there will be any cute boys this year?” She gets that dreamy look in her eyes, the one she always gets when she’s thinking about her latest crush or the opportunity she’ll have next week to have a new crush.

I scrunch my nose. “There's more to life than boys.”

“There’s more to life than books,” she retorts.

We’re sitting at a table right by the library entrance and before I can say something back to Emily, a guy walks into the library and I watch as Emily sits up a little straighter while I lean back in my chair trying to be invisible. But I can’t pry my eyes away from him as he walks into the library. 

We live in a small town and I’ve never seen him before. He's got dark brown hair and he's wearing a faded gray T-shirt. His jaw isn’t sharp, like jaws are often described in books, but he looks almost as if he’s still got a baby face. At least, he looks a little boyish and I’ll be the first to admit that this guy is attractive. In a best friend sort of way. But that’s all I’ll ever admit.

I’ve seen Mom date so many stupid men and get hurt and screwed over by them that I already know I never want a boyfriend or a husband. Emily on the other hand? She’s probably fantasizing already about how many kids she and this guy will have once they get married in seven years.

The guy glances over to our table and our eyes meet. He’s younger than I realized, probably my age or Noah’s age. Even with the ten or so feet between us, I can already tell he has the bluest eyes of anyone I’ve ever seen. I give him a friendly, but embarrassed smile and then look back to Emily who’s already waving the boy over, because of course she is. She didn’t even last ten seconds before wanting to introduce herself to him. I hold back an eye-roll. 

“Hi!” She gives him her biggest grin. Emily is pretty, like insanely pretty. She’s got long wavy auburn hair and stunning brown eyes. She’s also got a smile that could make any person fall in love with her, I’m sure of it. And because we live in a small town of farmers, she’s always stood out. I mean, I stand out too, with my fiery red hair and all, but not like she does. 

“Hey,” the guy says, shoving his hands deep into the front pockets of his pants. His arms are tan, like he’s spent most of the summer in the sun. I wonder where he’s from. 

“I'm Emily, and this is Annie,” she says, gesturing between the two of us and somehow quenches my desire to actually know more about him. She can do all the talking. They’ll be dating by the end of the first week of school. Whereas I can’t seem to form a normal sentence around a boy I think is cute up to this point in my life so I offer him another small wave and hope he leaves our table soon.

“I’m Sam. Could either of you tell me where to go to get a library card?”

I see Emily’s shoulders droop. He likes books, so not her go-to man. She likes the jocks who like to tell her she’s pretty. She had her first real kiss last year, something that I’ve only read about in books and I am more than okay with that. 

“I’ve got to run,” she tells Sam. “But Annie loves the library, so I’m sure she can help you.”

I blink in surprise and try to get her attention without being obvious about it. I can’t be left with this guy on my own, but she refuses to look at me, as if she knows I’ll try to stop whatever her plan is. I snap my fingers in her direction, but they both ignore me while she grins up at him.

Emily holds up her huge copy of Huckleberry Finn. “I’ve got to read this before school next week, and it’s going to take all of my time.” Then she finally looks at me. “Text me later?”

“Okay,” I say as I try not to glare at her, but I want to. 

Emily grabs her bag and heads out the door to head home and I’m alone with Sam. “The main desk is just down the hall,” I say pointing. “They should be able to get you a library card.”

He nods and looks down at the table where Emma is lying and I squirm in my seat the longer he stares.

He finally breaks the silence. “Is that one any good?”

“It’s my favorite,” I say.

He nods like this is what he expected me to say. Though, most girls our age are very into Twilight right now, so I’m pretty sure a classic being my favorite isn’t at all what he expected me to say.

“I’ll have to read it sometime.” He gives me a smile, one that makes the edges of his eyes crinkle. 

My heart does a funny little flip. “Let me know if you need to borrow a copy.” I blurt before I remember that we are in a library, where he could get his own copy. “I mean, if you want. I’ve got another copy.” More like five, but he doesn’t need to know that. Most people already think I’m the weirdo who likes classic books. 

My whole body feels warm. This is why I don’t talk to boys. I get all hot and sweaty and blurt out stupid things.

His smile only grows as if he hasn’t even noticed my embarrassment, and with that look it feels like a ray of sunshine straight to my chest. I look down at my hands again. Is this what Mom and Emily feel when guys smile at them? Is that why they keep choosing to date guys who are losers because of how their smiles send a physical jolt into their bodies? 

“I’d like that. I'm new to town, so it’d be nice to have a friend,” he says, his voice soft and quiet.

I didn’t know it was possible, but I feel myself grow even warmer and I know that my skin is bright red. I can’t look at him, not with this reaction.

“Where did you move from?” I mumble without looking up.

“Texas, but before that it was New York, upstate, and Washington before that.”

“Wow.” I’m startled by his history. “I’ve never even left Colorado.”

He looks at me like he’s about to let me in on some sort of secret. “Guess you’ll have to change that sometime.” He glances down the hall toward the reception desk. “I'd better get my library card, but I’ll see you around?”

“Sure,” I say, but I don’t mean it. I’m not like Emily. I don’t flirt with guys or get their numbers to hang out with them. I spend most of my time either at home or at the library or at school.

“Good,” he says as if that settles the matter as if we’re already friends. “See you.”

I offer another small wave—one of the only things I seem to be capable of today—as he walks away. His butt looks good in his jeans. I scramble up out of my seat at the thought, grabbing my copy of Emma and stuffing it into my bag. I can’t look at his butt, that’s weird, right?

Emily would have no trouble staring at him as he walked away, but I'm not her. Boys don’t notice me and I don’t want them to. But when I glance up at Sam again, he’s looking at me while he waits for the librarian to finish talking on the phone.

This time, he’s the one who waves. Butterflies swirl in my stomach as I leave in a rush.