Only a Game

The Starlight Springs Times

Cooper Caffrey, 34, is taking the season off from the Cheyenne Wranglers. Sources are still wondering why he’s taking a break at the height of his career. 

Is it drugs or alcohol? Are the rumors about his affair with the coach’s wife true? Has he been kicked off the team? Will he return next year to continue to be the best tight end the West has ever seen? 

All we know is that he’s headed back here to Starlight Springs—his hometown—in the mountains of Colorado and will be the football coach for the local high school. Maybe he’s doing this to bolster his image after the past year, with all the dating and drinking he’s been seen doing. Time will tell.

Local sources will keep us updated.

“What a load of crap.” I throw my phone on the couch beside me.

“Are you reading about yourself again?” my twin sister, Kit, asks from the kitchen. Despite me telling her she didn’t have to come over today, she did anyway. I’m officially back in town for the first time in a decade for more than just a few days. I love my twin, but I would have rather hung out with my brothers first. I haven’t told them I’m home yet.

I grunt in response.

“You’re doing wonders to prove that you really aren’t full of yourself,” she proclaims, and I can practically hear her eye roll. After all this time, she still thinks that I’m full of myself for being an NFL player. I chose the game because I love it. I practiced. I’m good. I’m not famous because that was my intention; people like me because, up until this past week, I was America’s favorite football star. I ignore the way my gut twists at the word. Was. No longer. All thanks to my coach. Whose wife I wasn’t having an affair with, for the record. 

“Kit,” I start.

She appears before me with a steaming bowl in her hands. “Here, eat, it’ll make you feel better.” I’ve been back all of an hour and she’s already taking care of me.

The bowl of soup smells like home, which feels like a punch straight to my gut. I’m not supposed to be home. But with how things went down with the coach, it was my best option. This house that I bought at twenty-four holds too many memories that I’d like to forget but can’t. Being here, surrounded by the furniture I picked out with her, sucks. More than sucks, it makes me want to curl up in bed with a pint of ice cream and never come out. 

“It probably won’t taste like Mom’s, but it is edible.” She plops onto the couch beside me, pushing my phone out of reach, which is probably for the best. She’s always been like a mother hen, taking care of all of us right alongside Mom. I’m sure the two of them had an argument about who would come over today. I don’t hate it, having my family around, in fact, it’s probably a good thing today since I’ve spent the entire morning reading every article about myself and the rumors about why I’ve stepped away at the height of my career. So far, no one has figured out why I’m actually taking the season off, which means Coach made good on his word about ruining my career instead of tanking his. But because of it, I don’t know if I’ll ever play pro again.

“Speaking of Mom,” Kit says as if this was her intent all along. “She keeps asking me when you’ll come over. I told her you’ll be there tomorrow for Saturday night dinner.”

I take a bite of soup instead of answering. Being around my family will be a good thing since we’ve always been close—sometimes too close, up in each other’s business. I’m not sure if I can handle them right now. I’m not ready for all the questions and concerned looks that will come if the topic of Evie comes up, which I know it will. My family means well, but they know the real reason I stayed away from home for so long until now. And they all know it wasn’t because of football. 

This would all be a lot easier if I knew that she had moved on. Well, actually, I think it would be a lot worse if she’d moved on.

My stomach lurches.

I lean forward and set my bowl on the coffee table, my appetite completely gone. Being with Kit is one thing, seeing my parents is another, and spending time with them more than just for a holiday visit or after a game is too much. While everyone in my family knows about my past, I’ve spent as little time as possible at home over the past ten years, much to the dismay of my twin and other siblings. 

Being in Starlight Springs reminds me of Evie. I’ve always loved the small town I grew up in, but living here with her? That was perfect. Until it wasn’t. Now, everything here simply haunts me of what might have been.

“I’m not going.” 

“You have to go.”

“I can’t, Kit. You know I can’t do family dinners or family anything right now.” Living in this house is going to be torture enough. Falling back into all the family traditions as if things are normal, even though they haven’t been for ten years, will be too much. That’s why I’ve stayed away for so long. 

She rolls her eyes. “It’s not like anyone will bring up what the tabloids are saying.”

Of course she thinks that’s the reason why I want to avoid our family. While it is part of it, it’s not the whole reason. She knows how much it broke me when Evie ended things, but she doesn’t know how much it hurts to be back. No one does, because I haven’t let them in. I love my family, but sometimes they can be too involved. It’s why I kept my distance after everything with her ended. I don’t want to go home now. They’ll be super supportive of me being home and try to say the right things.

But they can’t fix the fact that I had to walk away from the NFL. They can’t fix the fact that the love of my life ended our relationship when I proposed.

Just like ten years ago, I’ve lost everything that I love. Only, unlike last time, I have nothing to throw myself into to help ignore the heartbreak. 

They didn’t know what to say then either. Not that I needed them to say anything. My parents were as supportive as they could be, watching me go through my first real loss. But everything about this town reminds me of Evie and the time we spent together here, with some of my family. It’s too much.

“Plus, there are plenty of single women in town that you can date. I know you’re kind of a player, so I won’t recommend any of my friends. But you should get out there, date again.” Kit pauses. “Evie’s single.”

“Great,” I choke out. Kit wasn’t a fan of the Sommers family back in high school, but she and Evie became friends when we were together.

She punches me in the arm.

“What the heck was that for?” I grumble.

“Just don’t actually fall in love with her again,” she says softly, motherly. “I don’t want to see you hurt again.” 

I don’t say anything. I can’t say anything. I can’t fall in love with her again when I still love her. Unfortunately, my heart still hasn’t gotten the memo that my ex-girlfriend no longer feels the same. I’ve dated other women, tried to forget her, but I can’t. 

“I don’t think I’ll be dating anyone for the foreseeable future.” Coach made sure to drag my reputation through the mud. Most of the bigger tabloids haven’t gotten word yet, but they will, and then my career will officially be over and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Any of it. This is what I get for trying to do the right thing. “I think I’ll take a vow of celibacy.” 

Her face lightens when she sees that I’m not moping over Evie after all these years. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. She tosses a throw pillow at me. “You’re ridiculous.”

“But you love me.”

“Only because we shared a womb.”

I touch my heart in mock offense. “You wound me.”

My phone chimes from across the couch. Kit grabs it and reads the text. I want to snatch the phone out of her hands. Us having no personal boundaries didn’t bother me as much when we were growing up. We’ve always been close, but we’re in our thirties now. I don’t need her reading my texts. 

“Mom said that if you don’t come to dinner tomorrow night, she’ll come and get you herself,” she says.

I groan.

“Come on, it won’t be that bad. It’s not like you left the team for a bad reason.”

My stomach turns sour. I know that I did the right thing going to the lawyers about what I found out about Coach. But once he got wind of it, he shut it down and made sure my professional football career was over for something he did. He spun it to seem like I was the bad guy and him the saint. The media has been all over me walking away, but only a handful of people know the truth, and I’m the only one who said anything about it. Nothing is going to happen to anyone else except me, even if I pay the best lawyers. Coach seems to have every single one of them in his pocket.

“No one will judge you here; you know that, right?” Kit’s voice has gone all soft and motherly. I guess that happens when you’re the oldest girl in the family. We have an older brother, Lex, and two younger siblings: a brother and a sister. And even though I’m the older twin by seven minutes, Kit has always acted like the oldest of the Caffrey clan. “If anything, Fee will still have all the heat on her. Everyone is still upset that instead of an engagement announcement, she and Marco broke up.”

I snort. I knew about the breakup, but I didn’t realize everyone was upset. Fiona is the baby of the family, and she’s absolutely spoiled and rotten. I guess I should have suspected our parents would be upset, since Mom and Dad loved Marco. They also loved the idea of having a kid who got to marry their high school sweetheart, just like they did. Too bad Marco is a jerk and everyone but them could see it. “How did Mom and Dad take that?”

“Hard. They love Marco.”

We share a look. Fee can do so much better than Marco.

My phone chimes twice in a row. Kit reads the messages before handing the phone to me. It’s our sibling group chat.

THE CAFFERY CREW

Fiona

Kit, how long has Coop been home?

Wes

Cooper is back? No way!

Fiona

Eye-roll emoji Do you ever look at your phone?

Wes

Not if I can help it. Welcome back, bro.

Kit

He’s only been here since last night. He’s coming to family dinner tomorrow.

Fiona

YESSSSSS!!! Maybe Dad will forget about the whole thing with Marco.

Me

There’s no way he’s forgetting that.

Kit

Not a chance.

Fiona

:( Party poopers. I WOULD LOVE TO FORGET. I’M FINALLY FREE!

Also, I’m so glad we’re all back together again!

Me

It’s not like you all didn’t already see each other every single week. And we text all the times

Fiona

But now you’re back in town. It’ll be like old times.

I glance at Kit, who’s already laughing. Fiona’s too nostalgic.

Kit

Stop living in the past.

I laugh. The twin telepathy thing is all too real.

Fiona

:p Stop telling me what to do. You’re acting too much like Mom.

Lex

Okay, children. Settle down. Some of us are actually trying to work today.

Me

Ouch, Dad.

Lex

Welcome home. And I’m not Dad.

That’s Lex for you, stoic to the bone. He is a man of very few words unless us siblings are bothering him. He also lost his wife six months ago, so I’m surprised he’s chiming in at all. He rarely does these days, which makes sense. We all miss Bella. 

Lex

I’m muting this chat now.

Fiona

See you at dinner!!

Lex

If I must. Lottie is excited, though, as she always is.

Me

Mom promised to hunt me down if I’m not there, so y’all better be there.

Fiona

I can’t wait to hug you!

Wes

I’ll be there. Ro is coming too.

Fiona

Kissing emoji

Wes

You know it’s not like that.

Kit

Whatever you say

Wes

It’s not

Me

You protest too much.

Wes

eye roll emoji Ro and I are proof that a guy and girl can be best friends and nothing more. 

Me

I’m teasing you bro, I know.

Wes

Upside down face emoji just don’t tease Ro, she hates that. 

He does protest too much, though, and teasing him makes me forget about the fact that my dream career is over. For a minute anyway. The reality of what my life is now settles like a brick in my stomach. I may never play pro football again.